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FMB: U Cannot Stop Laughing !!!


One of the best interviews !!!!!

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Nukam Satish Kumar. I did my Tele Communication engineering from NVSIT.

Interviewer: NVSIT sounds good. I think it might be a Good College…

Candidate: No. No.. No…NVSIT means Nakka vekata Subbamma Institute of Technology.. in Peddapuram.

Interviewer: Nakka venkata Subbamma Institute of Technology ? I had never heard of this college before!!!

Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ….

What happened is – due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in EAMCET and I got 99,999 Rank . I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him ‘ Abba ‘) – “I can not invest so much of money”. (My Abba actually said – “I will never waste so much of money on you”). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name – Nakka venkata Subbamma , she is a social worker From Peddapuram.

Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Candidate: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.

Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Candidate: No, no… I am talking about Exams!!

Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in TCS ( Tirumala Car Servicing Centre ) through some relative.

Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing ‘lower’ education itself was so much of pain!!

Interviewer: Let’s talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Ameerpet is my current platform. Earlier I was at Panjagutta center. So panjagutta was my platform then. These days I’m covering KPHB,SR Nagar areas also as there are good looking girls staying. As you can see I have experience of different platforms!

Interviewer: And which languages have you used?

Candidate: Telugu , Hindi, English . By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.

Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?

Candidate: It is a common sense – C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD !

Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the
language our ministers and MPs use in assembly. I think our

chief minister is expert in this language.

 

Interviewer: What is your general project experience?

Candidate: My general experience about projects is – most of the times they are in pipeline!

 

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?

Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.

 

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?

Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn’t be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important – I know few words like – ‘Showstoppers ‘ , ‘hot fixes’, ‘SEI-CMM’,'quality’ ,’version control ‘,’deadlines’ , ‘Customer Satisfaction’ etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

 

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?

Candidate: Not much.

1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear T-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe . But considering the fact that there is a world cup in West Indies in 2011, I don’t mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don’t have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

 

Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Of course you are welcome any time and can be fired anytime.

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